My text to Philadelphia:
Our next flash mob should be Dancin’ (not fightin’) In the Streets!
“Teen flash mobs invade the streets of commercial center city Philadelphia and terrorize…” you know the rest of the news coverage. Analysis / commentary / public opinion / official law enforcement response ranges – not surprisingly – from hard line law-and-order crack down (I ran for mayor not mother / punish the parents / we’re gonna shut this down now, etc.) to the child advocate, sociological, public and social policy perspective (kids need after school and summer programming that the Government is not funding / these adolescents are underprivileged and need support and mentoring / we live in a violent world what else would you expect, etc.).
These are all valid perspectives, but these analyses are not conversations with the kids who came together through social media sites and texting waves and became destructive and violent. Totally unacceptable for sure, but no one is talking with the very same teens that have been participating in these flash mobs. We are not listening, seeing, looking at the kids who have been creating these mob scenes, and if we don’t start to we will not create something better and safer for our Philadelphia community – for all of us.
So I say instead of continued commentary on all ends of the opinion continuum, let’s get radically creative in order to listen to one another. After all, flash mobs started as a fun, creative social experiment by and with college-aged kids as a sort of public performance art: getting together at a public place for impromptu disco dancing or silly pillow fights. Let’s kick off a series of dialogues between kids, the community and the powers-that -be by creating our own flash mob scene. Let’s all facebook and text eachother: Me, you, Mayor Nutter, Commissioner Ramsey, their kids, our kids and the very same kids who have been participating in the flash mobs – yes even and especially the ones who acted horribly towards others. And let’s meet up at Broad and Chestnut on such and such day and time and perform an impromptu peace dance together to kick off the spring-summer season. The dance will be to the toon of Dancing in the Street. Let’s try something new together folks. Innovation and creativity is sorely needed for real conversation to happen! Callin’ out around the world / Are you ready for a brand new beat? / Summer’s here and the time is right / For dancin’ in the streets.
Our non-dialogue with young people (except sometimes with the ‘right’ kinds of kids – the young student and civil leaders in the community) reminds me of a wonderful seminar I recently attended with my longtime mentor Fred Newman, unconventional philosopher, psychotherapist and community organizer. The talk was aptly entitled How to Talk. He opened with the annotated version of what he had to say on the topic: If you want to learn how to talk, listen. He went on to advocate that we listen in a particularly way – listen to build something with the people with whom we are conversing. Not just adding my two cents but more what can I add to help take us somewhere together?
So what if we really listen to the kids doing the flash mobs and asked: what can I add to help take us somewhere NEW? The same old talking at or blaming of dialogues on all ends of the opinion spectrum will not get us to somewhere new, but doing something together that is radically out of the box just might! Let’s try it…. This is an invitation / Across the nation / A chance for the folks to meet / There’ll be laughin’ and singin’ and music swingin’ / And dancin’ in the streets / Philadelphia, P.A. (Philadelphia, P.A.)……
This is a phenomenal idea ! Lets do it on June 21, the first day of summer!
I hear what your saying, why aren’t we going to the source and try to come from a place of curiousity? Get in the mix and bust a move!
I believe that we all share the basic need of wanting hope, love, respect and to be understood. Understanding begins with active listening.
Getting to know you, getting to know all about you, it’s a beautiful thing.
Pass it on!
Wow, engage and talk with and listen to those who participated in the flash mobs – wonderful idea. Does anyone know how we would reach out to them to get them to show up at the dance fest?
Just thought I would share a moment with you.
I remember working on the Trauma med/surg unit in the 1990’s. I had come in contact with a patient who was a drug dealer. He owed money to his dealer, of which he could not repay; he was burned, stabbed, beaten, thrown over a bridge on train tracks, hit by a train and left for dead. Of course, I was just utterly amazed that he survived the ordeal but I also wondered how he became who he was. I made sure that I sat and talked with him everyday. I had come to find out that he was born into the drug dealing business. His father and mother both were dealers and when he was twelve they put him on the street with drugs and told him not to come home until he sold all of it. He did what he was told that day and continued doing what his parents told him to do. His father was killed and mother took off leaving him to care for himself at the age of 14. He had connections, knew the business, and continued in it. Eventually, he started to use the drugs that he sold, which lead him to where we were sitting.
No one would visit him. I just couldn’t believe that there was no one in this world that cared for this human being. It broke my heart. I would talk to the social worker everyday to ask whether she had found any family or not. Finally, she said that he had a sister in New York and she was coming in to see him. I just remember the sigh of relief and my whole body feeling about 50 pounds lighter. A few days later she did come. He had a lot of rehabilitation to do both mentally and physically. His sister eventually took him to New York with her.Between the social worker and his sister they had set up different networks for him to rehabilitate.
He called me on the unit about six months later to thank me for changing his life. He said that I was his inspiration to work hard and achieve his goals that he used to dream about doing but never knew how.
I will never forget that phone call. Ever. I have come to believe that everyone can make a difference in some positive way.
It only takes someone to listen, if only for a moment, to make a change.
Thank you Lisa for listening. And for giving us this story.